Moving Into The Big Wide World And Learning To Fly
She sat at the table looking at me, one eyebrow raised and a look of disdain on her face!
I could tell that she was rather unimpressed with my attitude, but wasn’t saying so.
I had no such hesitation, and hadn’t wasted any time in letting my thoughts be known!
It was one of those times where your kids have been involved in something gone wrong, in this case, it was a matter of a house sharing arrangement.
Her daughter has never had any financial problems - Mum pays everything. All the girl has to do is ask. They couldn’t understand me not doing the same!
You see, our daughter has to work - I believe that to simply provide everything that our kids want would stunt their growth into maturity.
In my opinion, paying school fees, as well as for extra skills training for them to get a job to support themselves is enough.
I could let them go through life thinking that my wife and I are here to fix everything for them, but the fact is that we can’t do that - one day we simply won’t be here at all.
Of course, we’re here now as a backstop if things go wrong, but I refuse to step in and wave a magic wand to fix everything.
Hiding and hoping against hope that the problem will go away doesn’t work. That’s what they have to learn.
With one in university, another graduating from high school and waiting to see if she gained a high enough mark to gain entry to university, it’s been a little intense here at times lately.
Our brood have all been caught up in end of year exams, or final exams, assignments, social engagements and paid work!
By having the kids work for the extras that they want, and pay their own way through life, I feel that they are in fact receiving a gift!
When they graduate into their chosen careers as journalists and so on, I’d like to think that they’d take their work experiences and use them to their advantage.
They’ve all flipped hamburgers at some stage, except for the youngest, but she’s working in a gift store instead.
I’ve left them at the table while I write this.
Being a parent isn’t easy, and while in my heart, I’d like to give my children everything, how would they learn to live?
I remember once reading about eagles, and how they teach their young to fly by pushing them out of the nest.
If the young one gets into strife, they swoop down and catch it, and keep going with the process until the baby flies…
The good news is that my daughter and her friend’s mother did come to an agreement, and they left the meeting smiling.
It looks like my baby is starting to fly, as painful and scary as that may be for all of us…
Family life isn’t easy sometimes, and a little tough love is needed occasionally to ensure that life skills are learned, and reinforced!
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Family life isn’t easy sometimes…
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I remember envying my friends household when I was a kid because, he never had to deal with the crap that I had to, his parents would always provide, rescue, pay for and ultimately ‘fix’ any problems he had. I was so jealous because I had to deal with the ‘that’s real life’ problems (as my father called them) by myself. No bike? save up and get one. My paper round is too hard! - work harder. etc. etc.
fast forward 25 years and I’m a well balanced individual, hard working and capable of confronting problems head on.
my friend is divorced, multiple alimony payments and stuck in a dead end job that he accepts will be his career.
let them burn their fingers a little when they’re young, skin is a lot harder to grow back when you’re old.
..sorry, a bit deep for a blog comment!
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G’day Andy,
Your comment’s not too deep at all for that post mate!
Before he passed away, my Dad made the point that I didn’t bring my problems home. It wasn’t that I didn’t have them, but rather, knew that I had to learn to cope, though I always knew he was there!
Cheers