Let Your Hopes Shape Your Future

Let your hopes, not your hurts, shape your future

One of Robert H Schuller’s many quotes forms the basis for this blog post.

As human beings, we’ve all experienced hurts and rejection at some time in our lives, and while many people are able to seemingly just “move on”, others seem to get caught in a quagmire of hurt and bitterness.

The problem is made worse when others don’t seem to understand, or even seem to not want to listen.

I remember years ago, sometime after my mother had passed away, I was speaking to a friend about the experience, and his reaction surprised me. He said “Oh, I thought you would have been over that by now!

His comment hurt, but as I thought about it I realized that both his parents were alive, and he hadn’t experienced that grief.

No one close to him had passed away.

Forgiving a careless remark was made easier by that reflection, but what if someone has actually hurt you deliberately, or betrayed you in a relationship?

Nothing hurts like the sting of rejection, and one needs grace to be able to overcome it.

A number of times during my life when I have had to forgive someone for deeply hurting me, I have actually cried out to God to forgive them through me, and laid the hurt at His feet.

Sometimes I have had to do it a number of times, because the human tendency is to pick the hurt up again, and rehearse the events in the mind.

Another circumstance that I have come across is where someone has lost a spouse, and is bitter because they have been left alone.

I was talking to someone recently, and he was in exactly that situation. His wife was gone, and as she had been his whole reason for living, he feels lost in never never land.

Bitter at her for leaving, and bitter at the world for carrying on around him.

As silly as it sounds, sometimes we may need to forgive loved ones for dying.

And we may need to forgive God for allowing it to happen.

We may also need to forgive those around us for not understanding our pain.

Saying that people need to move on at times like these can sound trite, and shallow, because the truth is, they would if only they could.

No matter what belief system we subscribe to, or how strong our faith, there is a time when people seem to go through a “night of the soul” experience, and endure depression and grief.

There is no set formula on how to overcome it, but the keys of forgiveness, faith, hope and love are essential.

Of course, there is one person that especially needs to be forgiven in this situation, and that is the person in the middle of it!

They need to forgive themselves for feeling that way, or maybe for being inattentive or dismissive when their loved one was around.

But what about me? My love and I are fine!

Keep short accounts, don’t let anger over stupid stuff persist.

Forgive each other and communicate, and don’t let bitterness take hold.

Live a life of no regrets with each other…

And remember, There was never a night or a problem that could defeat sunrise or hope.