Is Spanking Kids Really Child Abuse?
Raising children can be difficult, and with so many opinions out there, it seems to get more confusing each year.
Discipline can be a complex issue, but having no boundaries at all can be very scary as well.
More countries seem to be introducing laws to prevent parents from using “physical force”, or smacking, but no one really knows where to draw the line.
One person’s smack on the wrist may be another person’s child abuse.
This report from News Ltd states that the South Australian police do not regard “minor force” as child abuse.
The problem is that there are no set guidelines on what minor force is!
In New Zealand, smacking has been outlawed, but discretionary power has been given to police.
Again, this creates a gray area that can cause confusion.
According to the above article, there have been marches in the street, and protests at parliament house over the laws.
Of course, some parents choose not to discipline at all, and this is counter productive as well.
Kids need some sort of guidelines, otherwise once they grow up and become part of adult society, they may well have trouble setting their own boundaries.
I’ve seen some parents try and reason with their lids, but it’s very frustrating to see them arguing the point with a toddler, who soon seems to learn that it can be a fun game.
A carrot and stick approach often seems to work, rewarding good behavior, and banning liberties or treats for being naughty.
One thing that I have found that works quite well is to take the kids for a drive, and explain the situation to them, and show them what can happen if they continue to misbehave.
Below is a picture of a recent fun outing that we had.
They’re usually quite good after a drive, and rarely misbehave again!
Of course it’s not real, but if you really want to find out about non violent discipline for kids, you could try this!
Love always is and always will be the answer. Spanking per se may not be wrong but using force to get your kid in line is just whacked. In my mind if you hae to use violence or whapping your kid to get them in line then you have admitted defeat and failure. and are teaching your kid that when things dont go your way that its ok to hit.
SHANE’s last blog post..boot sector virus removal
I agree Shane, love is always the answer, and has to be the motivation – otherwise it is just a mess.
Thanks for the comment!
Hi Allan,
I think the fact that a child knows you are disappointed and feel bad about his behavior will give him the impetus to make adjustments. It will also make him act more responsibly. Talking to him about it and expressing it in a way that it is a mistake and you’d like him to correct it because it will work against him is the next step. Letting him know by actually expressing it that you are saying these things because you love him and don’t want him to go astray is a lot better.
The worst is letting your temper fly and scream and whack your way into his body until he crumbles to submission. 🙂 This is not conducive to learning and feeling love, it will only alienate love. It will not internalize the learning, it will internalize the pain, bitterness, and disrespect. It will not strengthen the bonds, but will break them.
— Durano, done!
durano lawayan’s last blog post..Bout Busted in Bangkok
Hi Durano,
I think that flying off into a rage when a child misbehaves says more about the more about the emotional state and/or maturity of the parent.
Discipline of any sort isn’t about getting even, or revenge, but about teaching the child what is expected.
As you say, it hardly conveys love…
Cheers
Allan!
That looks just like my Sunday drives! You’re right the kids are so well behaved afterwards.
I have fairly strong views on Child Rearing. Firstly, kids MUST be taught the consequence of their action. Touch a hot stove, you get burnt; Tease the dog or steal its food, you get bitten; etc etc
Help Mum do the dishes and clean up, get a hug and a happy Mum; Do the chores quickly and well, you get the afternoon off;
When it comes to good societal behaviour, positive reinforcement and ignoring the bad is more often effective than not. However, what about the times that it isn’t. Say, the child keeps stealing, beating up kids, bullying, deliberately vandalising things? What do parents do?
Spanking in general, is not acceptable but, I will say that sometimes the motivation to not get your backside hurt is more often enough persuasion.
Charly.