We’d been talking for a while about a number of things that had occurred since we’d last met.
I mentioned the fact that my wife and I had been married for just over twenty one years now, and she shared how, almost on their twenty fifth wedding anniversary, her husband had left her.
It was a shock, as they’d seemed the ideal couple when I last saw them.
‘S’ and I had gone out together when we were teenagers, and recently ran into each other on the local university campus.
The twist in the tale was that her husband left for…. a younger version of her!
Similar looks, similar tastes, just half her age and in another town.
I’ve often wondered why this happens – and it’s not just men that do it.
My wife and I sat down and discussed the people we knew who had broken relationships, and then taken up with someone else.
Almost all ended up with ‘new’ partners similar to the one that they had left.
One woman had a couple of relationships go wrong since her marriage failed.
Both new partners were almost identical to her former husband.
Sandra Williams writes about marriage breakdown in her latest post, The Mid Life Crisis Made Me Do It!
I agree with Sandra that this excuse is just a cop out, and hardly justified.
People can be tempted when they feel attracted to someone else, but they don’t have to fall for the temptation!
Openness in relationships is vital to help prevent falling into a trap.
The first thing I did after speaking to ‘S’ was to tell my wife who I had been talking to, and what we’d spoken about.
Speaking to ‘S’, I realized that in a lot of ways she was similar to my wife – simple tastes, strong willed and with a mind of her own.
Even some characteristics such as hair color and complexion were similar!
I wonder if, when people change partners like this they are looking for their youth, for that feeling of being in love again, but without the baggage of years of struggle, commitment and hard work?
Sooner or later though, they end up in the same boat, with similar problems.
It isn’t a change in partners that they need.
They need to change themselves!
Ninety nine times out of a hundred, people will take the problems from their old relationship into the new!
They’d have to be at least 50% part of the problem in the original relationship!
When times are hard, it may be tempting to walk out.
The choices that people make in relationships can also affect relationships that their children form as they mature.
Just my thoughts for today…
