The Day My Wife Met My Girl Friend
Is it right to have an affair?
I was checking my stats to see what people had been searching for on my blog, and the above phrase stood out like a beacon!
Then I realized that I had used it in in a post about an on line affair in 2007.
As it’s been a couple of days over four years since I made that post, I thought that it was worth a rerun!
Firstly, I did some more research and came up with the following facts about love and affairs of the heart on line:
8,100 people per month search Google on “how to have an affair”, while 60,500 just want to “have an affair”.
135,000 searched for “get your ex back”, so there had obviously been some cheating going on somewhere.
Both “wife having an affair” and “husband having an affair” came in at just over 12,000 searches each per month.
I found a page on Yahoo Answers asking if
I’m not sure if this reflects the way society is moving in general, if it’s more common, or even if it’s just the internet making it easier for people to look for alternatives.
I wonder…
What would hurt a betrayed partner more?
The fact that their spouse had had a fling with someone else, or knowing that they had found emotional fulfillment with someone else?
I suspect that the loss off trust and sense of emotional betrayal would hurt just as much in the long term.
Having known a number of people from “blended families” where there have been kids from different relationships, I can tell you that it’s not just the betrayed spouse that gets badly hurt!
So, is it right to do this?
Apart from the moral and religious reasons for saying it, the answer from me would have to be that it’s a downright selfish act.
It would involve hurting and deceiving others, and would cost much more than it’s worth.
And then there’s the guilt!
I heard someone say once that we are the sum total of the decisions that we have made over our lifetime.
Along a similar line, the words of the Eagles’ song Hotel California come to mind.
“We are just prisoners here of our own device”.
Freedom of choice is one thing, hurting others for the sake of fleeting pleasure is another!
Even with some of the dumb stuff I’ve done over the years, I have a fair idea of how I’d like my kids to remember me!
What if your spouse is cheating?
Two wrongs definitely don’t make a right.
The guilt would probably make the hurt worse, and of course any children in the relationship would be hurt even more.
If it’s proven that your husband or wife is cheating, it would be a smarter move to either forgive, or seperate.
Either way, it’s time to move on!
As Rodney Carrington says here…. there’s a whole lot of pain involved!
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This post was first published on: May 27, 2011, and updated on April 21, 2016.
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