Protecting Your Children From Cyber Bullies!
I’ve written about bullying on line before, and I’m finding that it is a topic that just won’t go away.
I’ve found that unless you’re on top of it, and constantly check your children’s on line activities, this can escalate very quickly.
Teenagers may feel that their rights are being threatened if you’re strict, but there are no rights without responsibility!
Left to their own devices in these situations, children and teenagers can get caught in an ongoing online slanging match.
Once this happens it becomes difficult to see where the problem started, and to deal with it properly!
For some reason, two local schools here, including ours, have had an ongoing problem with bullying on Bebo.
In my previous article, I wrote how I had I joined Bebo.com, and befriended my daughter so that I could see what went on!
Unfortunately, due to the busyness of life, I didn’t monitor the situation for a while, and it got a way from me again.
Please note that when I wrote ‘constantly checking the situation’ above, it’s because I have learned the hard way!
My daughter parted company with the girl responsible previously, and the situation eased further when that girl changed schools!
However, other members of the opposing groups took up the battle, meaning that the school, other parents, plus my wife and I had some rather interesting interaction as well!
Recently, another far more serious episode occurred at another school with a girl being told that she may as well commit suicide!
The police were called in, and are continuing to visit schools in the area.
Please note I’m not an expert in this, just a father, and community member who cares.
Parents need to do the following:
1. Make a written contract covering internet use and online behavior. This way, everybody knows their rights and responsibilities!
2. Make a point of retaining the right to check on what’s going on while your child/teen is online.
3. Learn the ‘slang’ that kids use for when there is a parent or adult in the room. Learn the slang for everything else too!
4. If you see the screen being minimised when you enter the room, or another one being maximised to cover it, demand to see it!
If they refuse, haul them off and shut everything down! If you have a signed contract, you can do this!
5. Relate to your school and other parents about the issue!
6. If your child is being bullied, go to the relevant authorities, whether it is the school, or the police.
7. Don’t assume that your child is blameless! Sorry, but we can all need to sometimes step back and look at it from all angles.
8. Have a look on the Internet for help. In Australia, go here!
A recent poll in ‘Girlfriend’ magazine reveals that only about 10% of Australian parents have a contract for Internet use in place.
Further, two out of three kids had said that they’d attempted to conceal non essential internet use from parents!
Parents need to realise that they are responsible for what happens with their kids online, not the school, police or society!
If rules aren’t set, and abided by, it creates a climate for this sort of problem to fester and grow!
Giving in for the sake of peace and harmony can quieten things down, but will only cause more problems in future!
Being strict may upset your teens, but if you’re not upsetting them at least once a week, you probably aren’t doing your job properly anyway…!
Have a great weekend!
Hi Allan,
You’ve got some great advice there, I know, with 4 boys aged between 14 and 20 we’ve had our fair share of online activity troubles.
The schools here are fast learning about the problems of online bullying as well as kids visiting inappropriate sites, my son’s high school now has locked down most sites so the kids can’t access them, including places like myspace.
The kids aren’t too pleased but I think in a lot of cases it’s a necessary thing to do.
Tony:)
Tony Lewis’s last blog post..3 Month Old Puppy Loses His Head.
Yes, people just don’t realize the danger out there!
It’s easy to give in for the sake of peace, but it isn’t in the kids’ long term interest!
The problem, along with creeps preying on kids, really needs to be addressed at a community level involving parents, schools and police!
I found your article on children’s safety very interesting. My Asperger daughter loves the internet and has been computer literate since age 4 – I have terminated her internet use except when I can sit with her while she surfs because her understanding of reality makes it risky.
Krokodil Ngwenya’s last blog post..Thoughts on the prospect of a bonded President: will we be ruled by the favours he owes?
That’s a very wise move!
I keep saying how important it is to monitor and guide children in their internet use.
Apart from the dangers that they face, they also need to communicate with other people in the real world, which is a vital part of their development into maturity!
Allan
Thanks for addressing this Allan. It affects children a lot more than some people realize.
We cannot fight our kids’ battles for them. We must always remember that. The most that we can do is remind them on a daily basis that the internet is a place where they can either learn or inspire others. Also, let’s educate them about trolls; tell them that, as in the real world, some nasty people are out to make others feel miserable. And just as he/she would do in the real world, block these people out; ignore them and don’t mind their dirt.
We can’t ban our kids from using the internet, when we ourselves are very much addicted to it.
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I totally agree, but if they are to fight their own battles, then they need to be properly equipped as well.
Where do you draw the line of parental responsibility? If there are no rules, chaos reigns…
Addicted to the Internet? I don’t know, but I have lived a lot of my life away from computers and the online world. They need to as well!
I feel this is a great commentary from the ‘parent’ side of things. I present to students, parents and teachers (in Australia) on these issues in my spare time, and a lot of the issues I come across are things that you’ve raised here.
For anyone interested, I’ve created a website raising awareness of these issues, which takes you on an interactive journey into a detective’s office to learn more about cyber bullying!
—
Chris
http://www.cyberbullying.info
Hey Chris, a very interesting site!
Cyber safety for kids is a parental, school and community issue.
The sooner people realise that working together is the answer, the sooner we can do something about it!
Speaking of sooner, sorry I didn’t answer your comment before!
Cheers!
Hi Allan,
Great article. I especially like the actionable steps you’ve included towards the end. Processes like this are so important, especially when parents aren’t receiving a lot of support from schools and may not know how to handle the situation. Have you ever come across this site? This information really helped my family when my daughter was bullied online last year:
raisingchildren.net.au/cyberbullying