Who You Are And How You Act Does Matter Online

Facebook IconTeeg’s latest post about online identity has me all fired up about the subject again.

Two separate events on Facebook today added fuel to the fire.

First, a Facebook friend asked for my email address.

Not normally a problem, but they had sent the message to a number of people, most of whom I didn’t know!

A couple had replied, and one included their address.

My reply was polite, and friendly, but I pointed out that there were people on the list that I didn’t know, and that didn’t know me.

Their privacy needs to be respected, and I have no right to have access to their email address if they haven’t authorized it.

Likewise, they have no right to mine.

I’m sure that the intention of the person sending the message was quite innocent, but that isn’t the point.

The second incident involved friend requests.

There were a number of friend requests, and suggestions waiting for me on Facebook this morning.

One was from what looked like a business entity, and not a real person so it was ruled out immediately.

Another was a real person, with a photo, and a message about herself. She’s now a Facebook friend.

Unfortunately, the pictures of the cat, a bunch of flowers, and somebody’s back yard didn’t make it, especially as I couldn’t tell from their scant profile details if they were real or not.

Note that I have no problem connecting with people in business, as long as they use their real identity – use a company name, or a website url though, whether on Facebook or Twitter, and it’s no go!

Why am I being so picky?

I include the photo that appears on this blog on just about all of my social networking sites for a start.

I also include a set amount of information for people to learn something about me, and so decide whether they want to be friends or not.

Notice that I said a set amount of information – not my life history.

People don’t have to know absolutely everything about you on these sites, and you have the right, and ability, to limit such information.

This is especially important if you don’t wish to have your info displayed on sites such as Wink, Intellius or Bigsight.

Now, the simple reason for being so pick is that after being open, and allowing people to have a snapshot of me, I feel that by not being open, they are placing me at a disadvantage.

So my message today is quite simple!

If you are in business, and you want to trade online, you need to let people know that you are real, and can be trusted.

Likewise, if you want to be friends in a social sense, apart from business networking, you need to be open to a degree as well.

I understand that some may feel a little shy or that they don’t “look attractive” enough, but the fact is that very few of us are perfect, and that no one was hit that hard by the ugly stick!

I have a friend who feels that he hit every branch of the ugly tree when he fell out of it, but really, no one looks that bad.

Anyone who is shy about their looks could have a sketch done, or use a silhouette.

If people really feel the need to use an icon or avatar to represent themselves, they need to at least be a little more open on their profile to display the fact that they are real.

What do you think? Am I being too picky?

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8 Comments

  1. That makes sense Allan and I don’t think you’re being that picky. I prefer to see someone’s friendly face rather than their cat or yard as well.

    The email thing would have thrown me off too and I get enough spam as it is.

    Sandras last blog post..Saturday’s Nature Music

  2. Hi Allen,

    I’m with you on this one. If you don’t want to show me your face and/or tell me a bit about yourself, including your real name, then you can ‘piss-off’. I don’t need to know your complete life history but I do like to get a sense of ‘who you are’. As regards looks, in my 65 years I’ve never met anyone that was that damn ugly that I couldn’t look at them and enjoy their presence. To paraphrase Ray Stevens, “Everyone is beautiful in their own way”. As in the real world, in cyberworld I want to know a bit about the person I’m dealing with.

    Just my two cents worth,

    Don

    Don Whites last blog post..Not the ‘Cover of the Rolling Stone’ but…

  3. I’m pretty sure that’s right mate!

    Much more of that though and I’ll start singing that song “I’m My Own Grandpa”

    Cheers!

  4. LOL… Allan/Allen I know both of you 🙂

    I like to think that giving your real name and picture of yourself are paramount to who you are linking up with on social networks. There are some “pro-bloggers” however that use an avatar with their real name… and it seems to work for them.

    I prefer the face to face online contact and wouldn’t consider you otherwise.

    Ange

  5. That was a great blog. I don’t think you are being too picky either. I read the same comment from a facebook friend Mari who said she wouldn’t become friends with pets or cartoons. I think finding that balance of how much to share is crucial. I’m still working on it myself.

    Carla Claytons last blog post..Brand High Quality Viral Reports Free

  6. Hi Carla, thanks for dropping by and taking time to comment!

    Balance is the key! While we are all out to network, a lot of people seem to have the idea that it shold all be there way, or that social networking somehow automatically equals marketing.

    Rather, it’s all about relationship!

    Cheers

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